Tuesday 4 January 2011

Random Celebrity Crushes

Alexander Skarsgard - there is a hunk of a man who I would happily let carry me away into the sunset never to be seen again, and trust me I would enjoy those years away with him, really enjoy them. Believe me, if you saw a picture of this guy, you would feel the same - he's very Nordic, very viking . . .its just beautiful. Where we may find a slight difference, of opinions is when I confess that I also harbour some of the same feelings for another, albeit slightly more minor, celebrity. Namely the lovely Professor Brian Cox.

Yeah, he's the guy who does the physics programmes on the TV, so what? He was in a band, that's cool (It still counts even if you can't remember the name). I don't care if he has odd floppy hair and slightly squinty eyes, it all adds to the charm. He's smart and gets excited about teaching us all new things in a way I find very endearing! I don't know why I'm trying to rationalise this, there's really no need, you just won't understand, because he is my RCC - Random Celebrity Crush, we all have one but only a few of us are brave enough to admit it.

Anonymity seems to make admission about 80% easier, as proved by Heat Magazine's annual weird crush poll. Last year the 'Go Compare' Man was at 11, surely that's worse than a cute, socially awkward physics presenter. Wait, hang on a minute - Hugh Laurie is in there, he's not weird - he's hot in a sarcastic mean doctor way. They've also put Benedict Cumberbatch in there too - he was an amazingly fit Sherlock Holmes earlier in the year. Why are these people in this list? They're not wierd, they're totally socially acceptable embodiments of sexual desire.There's only one explanation for these crazy misrepresentations, that Heat readers are actually secretly voting for truly eligible men.

Of course it could be the case that I just have a twisted and misguided taste in celebrity hunks but this just can't be true! Can it? I mean think of the Swedish sex god!

Anyway - I have to go - Brian is on the TV!

P.S. Feel free to add your own tales of RCC's - admitting it is the first step to healing!

Monday 3 January 2011

So, what are you up to now?

Happy 2011 one and all (or just me if nobody reads this!)

Before I could offer you this salutation I had to (yes HAD to, it's obligatory don't you know) attend a New Year's Eve Party. I'm not complaining about the party, I love parties, and this one was fancy dress, the best kind of party really. However, I do have several observations to make about this particular celebratory affair!

The first is that it was a house party - yesssssssssssssss, a free house no parents, lets get wasted and go crazy! Turns out this is not what a house party is anymore. Now that we (and by we I mean people I was at school with) are older and *cough* more responsible adults we don't go crazy, in fact most people don't even dress up. We don't drink anything and everything, we take time to choose a cocktail or wine and drink out of glasses at all times. I'm actually in full support of the last point - glasses are important! We also no longer live in each other's pockets and know everything about everyone, we have jobs and independent lives which leads neatly onto the second observation, the inevitable yet somewhat irrational panic induced by the question "So, what are you up to now?"

The question seems harmless enough. "Now? Well at the moment I'm drinking a mixture of spirits barely diluted and trying to stop myself diving face first into the garlic bread.....oh, you meant now as in...life!" I think that's it, the fact that 'now' in this case means "sum up all you achievements since leaving school and tell me why I should respect and carry on talking to you" that makes the question so intimidating. In my case, it is also the reaction to my current career that makes the whole 'what are you up to?' thing so desperately uncomfortable and distasteful. Let me give you a sample of one such conversation.

"So, What are you up to now then?"
"I'm a teacher"
"Oh, right....cool, what subject do you teach?"
"I teach primary, so everything"
"Oh....what did you study again?"
"Classics and Philosophy"
"Where?"
"Exeter"
"And you chose to become a teacher yeah? You didn't want to do somethings else?" (I should mention the slightly suspicious look that begins to creep across people's faces at this point)
"Nope, I chose to be a teacher - I did an extra year of university to be able to become a teacher"
"Really? Well.......at least you get short days and long holidays"
"I work 12 hour days mostly"
*blank stare and silence* "I work for an investment bank" 

Most people ( I say most because in fairness there were some who were genuinely interested) seem highly uncomfortable with the fact that my ambition is, at least for the moment, to teach. I went to a good school followed by a top 10 university, I studied reputable subjects - why should I want to spend my time educating small children? I don't know if this is perhaps due to the fact I grew up in a prosperous area of the country and went to a school full of intelligent people who all had high ambitions in life. Maybe my ex-class mates secretly hated school and therefore dislike all those who elect to seek out a career in that environment. Or, and I fear this is the most likely, there's a chance that they've forgotten that without people choosing to become teachers, however unimpressive it may seem, they would not be able to work for their investment banks, hospitals and corporations at all because they wouldn't even be able to read!

However, the fact remains that being a teacher doesn't make particularly thrilling party conversation. I have decided therefore, that next time I'm in a reunion-style situation and someone asks me what I'm up to now that right after my obligatory sarcastic observational response I will calmly sip my drink and say "well if you must know I'm working for the government, it's all very hush hush and if I told you any more you may find yourself in danger" and float off serenely. Admittedly this line may not work very well if I am dressed up as a comedy doctor again!

Peace out, A town Down my friends, until next time ..... x